Saturday, September 24, 2005

Should I do this?

We were walking around downtown today and Ghida told me she thought it'd be a good idea to start up a blog. The idea always seemed like a really stupid one. I mean, Samer put a blog thingy on his site (http://samerkurdi.blogspot.com/) and I totally harshed on him for it. Too self-centered or something, it felt like. But I don't know. I've found myself checking out other people's blogs lately in the name of finding good books to read (http://www.moorishgirl.com/) and I'm kind of intrigued with the idea of sharing cool info and just generally keeping in better touch with my friends. Who are spread out across the planet.

But I wonder if I have much so-called cool info to share. My life pretty much these days consists of going to parks with Issy, walking around Ballard and cooking dinner. Not too exciting, that's for sure. So my plan is to try this out for a week and see if it's a worthwhile thing to do. I do yearn for those days when I did a great job of recounting what was going on in my life by journalling obsessively. Some of it is pretty painful to read--geez, I sure was melodramatic. But just to have a record of my thoughts at the time and even remember what the heck I was doing in a certain year feels really magical looking back on it from such a faraway place.

The other day I received 3 boxes in the mail from my dad that were filled with old books, some clothes and notebooks from undergrad and grad school. There were a few of those wool sweaters we all wore back in the early 90's (HUGE things!), a bunch of pictures from my Peace Corps days in Cameroon that I hardly had any recollection of, and some weird clothes I got made in Cameroon before leaving that I've never worn and never will. Well, maybe I'll sleep in one of the big shirts or two. But the thing is, I had totally forgotten this stuff even existed. It'd been packed up for at least 7 years. And while I feel like, man, we don't have much space to live in here and I should just chuck it and keep the clutter at bay, I don't think I can live without it.

I'm choosing the name "ajnabeeyeh" for my blog, if it indeed lives to be a blog, just because that's totally what I feel like these days. Ajnabeeyah in Arabic means "foreigner," and that pretty much sums me up for the past 12 or so odd years. Living in Jordan for the past 7 years there was hardly a day that went by that I didn't hear myself labelled as one, but in many ways I think I've internalized it. We've been in Seattle for about 5 months now and I still have the feeling that ajnabeeyeh will continue to describe who I am--someone who's caught between a few different worlds.

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